RidiculousNess IV: Parable of the Pigs on Camouflage and the Pigs on Black

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Two dirty Pigs reeking with the stench of vultures’ meals discovered that their mutual dirt was more symbolic of their common piss (and they were employed to maintain the peace). The two dirty Pigs are linked by the pungent integrity of their stench but while each had a unique dirty smell, both are just a type of fragrance anyways. If one dirty pig encounters a new type of filth, he calls the other dirty pig and together they harvest more filth from the area.

Daily, they scanned their habitat looking for the right amount of gutter water to serve as base for the structure they were erecting and with each passing day, they dug more ground and poured more filth concrete. If one dirty Pig shows sign of abandoning the complex the other dirty Pig shows it how close they are to the apex. If one dirty Pig tries to uproot the foundation they have sacrificed knights for, the other dirty Pig comes to the rescue and the projects run till nightfall. They worked Night and Day until they arrived at the apex and it was time to erect structures.

The two dirty Pigs found out that each block of concrete they dropped into the foundation disappeared and the next block of concrete couldn’t hang on to it or hold the next after it. Angry, they accuse each other of mischief and to reinforce its new hatred, one dirty Pig hit the other dirty Pig on his dirty face and broke his nose. In retaliation, the other dirty Pig hit its friend in the eye and damaged the retina. Soon enough there was a real fight and as the half-blind dirty Pig tussled with the dirty Pig with the broken nose, their legs slipped into their deep foundation and their massive bodies crashed into the bottomless filth.


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One dirty Pig was on Camouflage and the other dirty Pig was on Black. The dirty Pig donning a fine camouflage considered itself the prime Pig and the dirty Pig on charcoal Black considered itself the common Pig. Despite these rights a Pig is a Pig and from the death report, they lived by their names. The dirty Pig with a superiority complex and the dirty Pig with the common touch had a common and superior language. Outside these Pigs, none of the living primates in the habitat are worthy to build without recommendations. Not one of the other animals in the farm is allowed to do as it pleases. To act unworthily one animal has to consult the owners of the Pigs and these owners now direct the Pigs to grant rights to shake up things.

In the books of the Pigs to act unworthily is defined as acting contrary to what the Pigs want to be done. And what the Pigs want done is not specific but custom made. Other than this, whatever the other animals in the farm or even the plants do is met with the long nose of the Pigs. Take for example the building that swallowed the two dirty Pigs. In a former structure, specifications were reached and a norm created but when the Pigs decide to do what they want to do, the old specifications are denatured and the trending pattern becomes standard specifications again. Pigs run the place and whether they are on camouflage, black, green or sky blue the order is maintained.

In the scale of preference, it is the Pigs first, the Pigs second, the Pigs third, before the other animals. What about the handlers of the Pigs, the owners and quakers of the habitat? Expecting the masters of the scale to be in the preferences is like expecting the owner of the farm to be a farm implement. Won’t you be shocked to see that in the farm animals, the owner of the farm is also a farm animal? Assuming you are human how would you feel when I say ‘the animals in this farm are goats, horses, fowls, cows, John and pigs?’ Will I still be human or the next Adolf? So Pigs build with the architectural design and blueprint of the masters. Squealer will have to listen to Napoleon if he wants to live long (and also because the Dog is always right) and the meek Boxer always does the right thing because he loves the progress of the farm.

There was crisis in town three weeks ago. The brothers of the Pigs on Camouflage and the brothers of the Pigs on Black created nickel channels for one another and the head of both Pigs tried to char their cover. Some of the Pigs on Camouflage beat up some of the Pigs on Black and took away their colour, clothes, body and spirit and the brothers on Black tried to take away their spirit, body, clothes and colour. It was one of the most soul searching episodes in the history of the prime animals in the farm and if there is any animal that enjoyed the scene not just for its gift of self-disgust, but also for the rare entertainment occasioned by the Pigs, it is the other animals aside them.

The lion fishes pleaded an eye went for an eye and if this cannot be attained, a milder solution will be ball for balls. They sounded human. The cats called for calm but under their breath mumbled something on vengeance, karma and child of the world. The rats made sure the flames burned forever as this could give them longer time to be bountiful. Generally, there was jubilation in the kingdom and there is strong evidence that it often visits when these two dirty Pigs play hide and seek. The drums roll out, the scary animals are emboldened, and the meek ones in the absence of cocaine show their true natures and even the other animals who happen to be outlaws rejoice, the scene is a beauty. How is that for a crisis in town?

So one dirty Pig vowed to fuck another dirty Pig up and the promised promised the same treatment and with the head of species promising protection, this scenario, for the terrified animals, is the next Game of Thrones. But why will Pigs fight one another? Why will higher animals in the chain fight over peanuts when there are lower animals to do the needed harvest? Why will Pigs even put on a Camouflage and go errands for chief Napoleon? Why will Pigs put on Black garments and stand on trenches to work for fallen angels?

First, they are Pigs, and that’s all. I’m kidding. But what else is there to explain if there are Pigs to begin with? I’m still kidding. Is it possible for Pigs to act contrary to Pigs? More jokes. On a serious note, is it possible for greater animals, in this case, Pigs, to act like the lesser animals in the farm? How did Pigs become Pigs? Now here is a serious question. Let me summarise. Long time ago, when all animals were simply witches or what we refer primitively today as bushbabies, Lugarin, the God of identity, was sharing gifts to his children all over the world. Prior to that, a meeting was held in the company of Zeus, Janus, Saturn, et al., where the Gods agreed to help out those offsprings suffering.

While some of us loved our old look, some of us wanted to look better. While some of us wanted just one face, many of us were already eating like Pigs. While some of us wanted to look like the bushbabies before us some of us wondered what it would be like to look like one of the good Gods. Some simply wanted to modify one or two things and move ahead. So Lugarin, being a kind, loving and a father who knows what is good for all, locked everyone into one category and gave us a portion and we drank. Those who refused had the lightning bolt of Zeus pass through their gaping mouths and the rest of us became these. It was victory for those who agreed in the first place and in reward for their loyalty; they were fully transformed into Dogs and Pigs. The Dogs to rule the Pigs and the Pigs to rule over all the other animals. That was how these Pigs were born.

About Poet 171 Articles
I am Rey Alaetuo, a conscious Poet and health care professional living in Owerri, Nigeria. I am an exponent of humanism and a vigilant Poet. I am deeply interested in the propagation of positive human values and behaviour.

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