Gandollar And The New Babanriga Banking System

Should everyone join the blind bandwagon and blame the miraculous Gandollar who did the rare trick of the bullion van, this country dangling on hemiplegic gaits will be doomed. Think folks! Think! Entertainment, genius, politics, kickbacks, grants, truth, name them. This means different things to different folks but more importantly, this is about honesty, folks! Think folks! If the aides around the good man didn’t come in leprous light fingers, the son of man wouldn’t have ventured into the field. The good thing now is that we can be assured that when next the contractors meet for financial intercourse, one or two Peters must have seen the light and given incorporeal wisdom to speak for the miracle worker.

Remember that even Jesus had to lead the blind and the blind became visionaries and led the blind. The blind who were led by the formerly blind became visionaries and had to lead the blind folks who must become tomorrow’s visionaries. This is about awakening, consciousness, pineal gland, the third eye and more importantly, to the curious, the Babanriga system of transferring Benjamin Franklins. This is where we are, folks. Trust is a primary issue here and we must try to find out why the human vault didn’t trust any one enough to serve as go-between. We only know that Gandollar mingled with men of integrity and his nitty gritty once abhorred seventy seven cartons of alcohol meant for men without wills or powers and men proclaimed moral police carried out the holy instructions but what happened?

He presides over the moral affairs of Kano state with a religious moral compass that hypnotizes and gives a solid nod to two contradictory standards. Where alcohol is evil the Babanriga banking system is supposed to be nonexistent but here alcohol is toxic to the brain in a secular country and Alhaji Gandollar and his Babanriga banking system is divine. The moral police is only allowed to sanitize human souls and human vaults is a minor matter of the body. Seeing the same apostles who carried out the massacre on the bottles of inspiration watching a pilfering of the polity is a fine definition of morality but I am very sure they must be asking themselves how relevant they are to great Gandollar. Are there dirty games that the minor players of dirty games are not allowed to play? I prefer to ask instead, what is moral about the morality police?

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On a lighter note, Gandollar transported over 230 thousand dollars in his Babanriga and a clueless government that claims to be fighting a war against corruption have elevated him to high heavens. His paths, as we have seen in the past two weeks, have become the paths the other incompetent Governors couldn’t thread. He has been praised by the President for the gigantic strides his paths accomplished. A court order has been instituted against the mischievous never-do-wells at the state house of Assembly for daring to have a second look at Jafar Jafar’s video that did the exposure. This is how Nigeria is fighting the war against corruption. Senator Shehu Sani, one of the few Senators who have exhibited more wit than stupidity, called it the deodorant system.

For the member of the opposition thinking of stealing, the thought alone invites the law and at the same time court orders asking for their release ignored but for the brothers in the fold, defences are erected in obvious acts of corruption. The government kills a mosquito with a sledgehammer and burn it thereafter but a strand of broom is used to nail the type of rats that sent the President out of his office for there months. Gandollar is a great asset to his party and the state he governs contributed immensely to the victory in 2015. The state alone supplied about two million votes and even with the spirit of incompetence hovering over the country, the spirit of hunger and inflation touching both the middle class and lower class, it seems like the circle will tour again.

Pissing the Holy Gandollar off have the propensity to piss the party off at the polls and when you factor in the fact that he is one of God’s children, in fact, the one you wouldn’t find at his leftmost hand, it becomes naive to imagine him in the questioning room of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC. The already compromised chairman of the commission dumbly evaded the question last week and the respectful journalists who threw the question at him didn’t try to make him more uneasy than he already was on hearing that. Corruption was captured on video and a commission in charge of fighting corruption is shying away from the matter because some holy people who are familiar are involved. Gandollar has earned the power to live above sin because he is one of God’s children.

But that is taking the matter seriously and for us to live happily in this country, we shouldn’t have time for rational solutions. Being logical has not helped us and merriment, sarcasm and satire have kept us breathing. We are not like the people on the other side of the sea who cry at every given opportunity or government recklessness, people who don’t know government and politics are like that and try to go against natural order. We are not like the ones willing to burn themselves for things to appear different because to us, when things appear different, they remain the same but we change and confuse it for change in the systems we look up to. They see life poorly and we, knowing that life shouldn’t be taken serious, live life to the fullest.

We don’t commit suicide for silly reasons or for things we know we cannot change. A bandwagon effect shouldn’t affect how I see truth in any place. Why is no one asking the important questions? Who did the video and what does he stand to gain from doing this? Who paid Jafar Jafar to release the video and why now the elections are approaching? Wouldn’t the angry man he deputized, now former Governor, Rabiu Kwankwaso, jump at the thought of this plan and paid for project mobilization and actualization in one take? These are the sort of questions we should be asking. This is Nigeria and in the world such atrocity, betrayal and backstabbing isn’t new to us.

The motive behind anything matters and humans have shown to have the interest of none but themselves most of the time. What the Holy Gandollar did is not his fault but of his dishonest aides. They, like most Nigerians, have trust issues and sabotage is hunched on their backs and Gandollar couldn’t stand dishonesty or people who walk one step at a time outside. Aisha Buhari is an example. The wife of the President trusted a hungry aide but the thing turned his Madam’s goodwill into dust by stealing from her bag of royalties and rewards. Gandollar is a wiser man because while the wise learn from their own mistake Gandollar learns from the mistakes of wise people.

This is how this story will end. Gandollar’s good name will be dragged in mud by the majority of Nigerian poor masses operating out of jealousy and memes will be created by the few who think they can shape opinions. We all know that there is a cold war between the wretched poor men in Nigeria and the rich people moving in G-Wagons and Range Rover Sports. The poor we all know are not morally upright but because they are the poor, they think they will make heaven and the rich are destined for hell. The rich think they can buy the opinion of the poor and pay his soul if they want to and the morally bankrupt poor who thinks he is good knows this to be true.

So, when the poor heard that Gandollar devised a new system of transporting money, they laughed, attacked him and worshipped memes. This is not because they are good or love goodness but because they are jealous as they would do exactly what Holy Gandollar did given the opportunity to lead even a street. In the next phase the clueless government will double speak in so many settings and hope will be raised, dashed and repeated and some Nigerians will exhibit a gullibility that will surprise many of us both good and bad. They will speak highly of the government and morality, goodness, kindness and love will be associated with the rogues in power. Some will be conversing with rumbling stomach as they agree and beside them an opportunist who sold his soul to speak good of the government commends their reasoning.

These gullible ones will rejoice and tell how Gandollar will go to jail for eating the yams in our barns but they don’t know that Gandollar will be pissed if he is told the goods under his Babanriga was referred to as ‘our’ by Nigerians in the suburbs. Pissed, the rich will have that in mind when next they fulfill the ‘I will lock you up’ threat they always use on those on the lower class. The government will talk of sanitizing Nigeria and at the same time dish out unfounded claims without sound means of arriving at these unfounded claims. After three weeks, the greed inspired rage will die down and a new powerful story having similar elements: intriguing, action packed, suspense filled, love (the type you will get on Telemundo), hate and patriotism, will surface and the same greedy and jealous Nigerians who will do the same thing if given the opportunity will want to judge the accused. Hypocrites!

About Poet 171 Articles
I am Rey Alaetuo, a conscious Poet and health care professional living in Owerri, Nigeria. I am an exponent of humanism and a vigilant Poet. I am deeply interested in the propagation of positive human values and behaviour.