Dear Nigerian Girls, Stop These Things

1. Learn Conversation Skills: Dear Nigerian Girls, their is no virtue in being boring. Their is nothing fascinating in using words(you say words?) like ‘K’ for Okay, ‘Fyn’ for Fine, ‘Nthn’ for Nothing and ‘nd’ for And in conversations. You should not be proud of boring people in conversations. These are not words or acronyms or exist anywhere in grammar. It is something you should be ashamed of. It is something you only find in the lexicon of poorly educated people. To add salt to injury, these collection of K’s, Fyn’s, and Nthn’s are what you bring to conversations. How are you doing? Fyn. What is happening? Nthn. Are you alright? Yes. Why are you answering me in monosyllables? Wateva. You don’t bother to ask the dude doing all these asking how he feels, how his life is going or how his day went. Improve on your conversation skills, please. Some of you even start a conversation you are not prepared to see through. Why chat up anyone when you know you are not willing to say anything? Why send the dude hello or hi when you have no plans on saying any further thing? You think the boy is a mind reader or talkative ready to shoulder a conversation he didn’t initiate? What will happen to you if you write meaningful words and carry a chat you initiated? Nothing. What will happen to you if you contribute to the beauty of that call? Nothing. It doesn’t make you cheap or easy like some will claim. It simply shows you are soundly educated and have sense. Stop being boring, please. Dear Nigerian Girls, stop this annoying thing

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2. Marriage Is Not An Achievement: Yes, it is not. It is simply the union of two people willing to spend the rest of their lives together. The union of two people who feel they can help each other on the long run. The union of two adults who have found themselves worthy to spend the rest of their lives together. It is not the success of two people willing to spend the rest of their lives together. It is not an award given to two people who have changed the world positively. It is not an achievement and neither is it inherently good or bad. It is what you make of it. You are not better than the single lady who is over thirty simply because you are married. No person is better than you just because they are married. You are not better than that spinster who has contributed largely to the success of her neighborhood just because you are married. Stop measuring success with Marriage. Stop accepting marriage as the last transition to make you whole. Marriage is a contract signed by two people. While fulfilling the details of that contract is good it doesn’t define marriage. It is simply married people having success in their marriage. Some are seeing hell in theirs. But some of you Nigerian Girls confuse the signing of this contract for achievement and mock the ones who are yet to ‘achieve’ this feat. Wake up!

READ:Dear Africans, When You Pay Bride Price, You Just Traded An Item

3. Their Are Broke Girls Too: Yeah. Their are broke girls too. Admit it. You can’t be broke and still be found describing others, guys especially, with the tag ‘broke’ and ‘poor’. It is time to involve in the struggle for your daily bread. Stop waiting on some dude to feed you and buy you things your bank account can only afford in dreams. Cut that false sense of entitlement some poor culture guaranteed your sex. You will only be a slave to the one who provides your daily bread. You are making your slavery easy and highly effective. The best way to protect yourself financially is by being independent financially. The best way of protecting yourself against financial exploitation is by equipping yourself with that weapon with which you can be exploited financially. When you buy the idea that you don’t need financial strength because you are girl, even though you need money, you are reinforcing the cord of your slavery. Being a girl doesn’t stop you from working hard. It doesn’t stripe you of physical or the mental ability to execute a project. Being a girl, in this male world, inspires great blessings if you are a hard worker. Stop materialising yourself. Stop seeing yourself like an article that will be bought by one rich guy in future and your account enlarged.

READ:Dear Struggling Young Men, Avoid These Bad Habits

4. Stop Worshipping ‘Hard’ Men: I heard some of you love it when the guy is harsh and hard on you. I hear some of you consider the quiet guy who settles issues and involves in less drama less a man. I heard some of you say you love it when he flogs you with belts and makes up later. This is worrisome. This is an erroneous teaching. Love is not aggressive. It is not made of shrapnel. It is not that stupid. It doesn’t make you sad today for stupid reasons, so it can make you happy for the same stupid reasons for which you were sad in the first place, tomorrow. Stop worshipping who treats you poorly. You need to rework your minds. I heard some of you claim you love to be thoroughly beaten and cuddled later and so you call the nice guys weak. What sort of need and thinking is that? A real man is not an animal whose will alone must be done except the antagonist wants beating. You are better than that. You are not a dog or some lower animal. You have a brain and can think and the stupidity of no man should be respected just because he is acting like a ‘real man’. That idea of a Real Man can only be found in the psychiatric wards. When a man treats you like a gentleman that’s realness. Don’t pray for a Gentleman and wish for a Tout. Stop wishing for a tout in your life. Dear Nigerian Girls, stop begging for beating, enjoying them or looking for Hard Men. Such strange love can only be found in Yaba Left.

READ:Are You A Real Man?

5. Virginity Is Not Enough: This is for both the Nigerian girls amd guys. Why does it seem like once a girl is a virgin she’s automatically a good person? Why do you rate non-virgins lower on the character scale than the virgins? Why do you go to a great length, buying different drugs and trying several exercises to restore what went with the hymen? What about other sins she commits? Is a virgin girl better than a girl who is not simply because she is a virgin? No, she is not. Character goes beyond virginity. You can’t claim to be one and also be the most demonic of human beings and talk about character. You can’t be one and still be the champion of all forms of malice and still feel better than your peers. The most important thing should be your character and not virginity. A virgin demon is not better than a nonvirgin human being. I’m not asking you to ditch your virginity but that it is not enough and it doesn’t make you less evil or morally upright. Guys, educate yourself. Dear Nigerian Girls, stop that bragging, for those who brag about it. Stop spreading those lies to partners in your relationships. Stop trying to regain it by trying several drugs just because of another human being. That action alone doesn’t cleanse you of anything even if you succeed. Your character is what matters. Anyone who is not willing to accept you because of that is not good enough for you. This is not a license to be promiscuous either.

READ:6 Places Nigerians, Black People And Africans Display Inferiority Complex That Must Be Stopped

6. Quit Bleaching: First, I’d like to say Congratulations to the distributors of bleaching creams in Nigeria. I can hear your bank accounts saying hi. Dear Nigerian girls, I can’t believe that every one of you is now fair. Honestly, I can’t believe that. Okay. That is an exaggeration but you get my point. The face is fair, the leg is dark. The leg is fair, the knuckles are dark. Magic! Their is a class of poor quality bleaching cream users, the average quality bleaching cream users and the high quality bleaching cream users with different shades of fairness. What are you doing to your skin in the name of beauty? What inferior complex dwells in your heart? Bleaching is not good for both your skin and mind. You bleach because you feel inferior and that new complexion wouldn’t create what is absent. Your self worth is not enhanced when you shed your natural skin colour. The Genevieve’s of this world didn’t have to bleach their skin to look good. Bleaching only exposes you to skin cancer and other skin diseases. You are not doing yourself any good. Google Skin cancer and see what you could become. Yeah. We will all die someday but is that how you want to die? If you can prevent something why let it happen? Dear Nigerian Girls, stop destroying yourself trying to look good.

About Poet 171 Articles
I am Rey Alaetuo, a conscious Poet and health care professional living in Owerri, Nigeria. I am an exponent of humanism and a vigilant Poet. I am deeply interested in the propagation of positive human values and behaviour.

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