From One Like One Prayer to Share This Post if you want God to bless you, the mass of the ridiculously religious on Nigeria’s Social Media is a great leap in our journey towards self restoration. That is cold sarcasm from the culprits’ point. Our cyber spaces have developed the rare ability of forgiving Mortal and Venial sins at the click of a button and I think the most high must be pleased at our Iberiberism. The book says that before they created man, those Supreme Beings upstairs who worked with sand were after familiar reflections but looking at some photographs today you begin to wonder if someone changed something in the book or the book changed a thing or two in man or man wasn’t the primate spoken of. Species look like the APC Chairman when they asked me to Share This Post and I’m looking for the image of God. Be honest, where is the image of God in that?
The lofty standard and expectations prior to that creative moment now seem cat and mouse. Hope lies in the fact that this strange religious Iberiberism on social media doesn’t operate abroad, at least this Nigerian brand. That is more of an indictment than hope though. An indictment on the structure of the cerebral cortexes of the worshippers within this part. My atheist friends will hinge it on that perpetual delusion expected from the followers of that fine guy from the middle east. There are other brands too.
One anonymous who became famous went into his room, moved by the presence of the most high (Marijuana can also take you there) reeled out the names of transport companies Lucifer had marked for destruction and specific days. Share This To Save Us From Satan and I bet Angel Lucy, wherever he was at that moment, must have been proud of his status in the lives of the children of God. He must have been mad and happy at the same time. He knew he didn’t speak with the guy on cannabis but the new addition to his resume will piss Yahweh off for a while. Any publicity is good publicity after all.
How these Iberiberism turn a simple Cyclops to a mighty Horus in the name of God is a fatal flaw created by their ignorance. Or is it Nigeria? Can poverty and bad governance inspire genius-like barbarism? It has happened to me once. One time in boarding house, I was broke and the women in the kitchen have stopped cooking, I had to lick butter for lunch. Evening I poured sugar into water and slept like my water broke. True story. A fake post created by one lunatic sitting in his little hut was credited to the popular Father Mbaka and you simply have to Share It To Ten Contacts to receive an unnamed blessing. John is still waiting for his unknown blessings after engaging in that Iberiberism.
He slept with two ladies with huge bumpers last night and when he shared the post to ten people this morning, his head was rested on a silicon boob and his hands moved around a familiar pool. Then you wonder the significance of the numbers they always choose. What if he shared nine? What if he shared 10 but bad internet stopped four from getting to their destination? What if only five of the contacts read it or none at all, how is the calculation done from that end where the blessings come from? Robert Langdon have nothing on these guys. These handlers, through Iberiberism, made healing possible online. A boy in need of surgery died after getting hundreds of thousands of likes and shares.
Others were more protective with their Iberiberism.
Type Amen If You Don’t Want This To Happen To You and over a thousand Amens graced the page of the now dead sick boy. The anti-christ-like stupidity was legendary and demonic. For now the new form of Christianity that exists in the internet spectrum is homeostatic for the quality of mind that mines these problems but on the long run, we will all die of the cancer. A guy goes around pages typing Amen to sicknesses he can eliminate from 5% of his wallet but on weekends he spends 20% at the club with strange Daughters Of Eve. Is this what God wants? Share prayers on virtual reality but get the thing the right way on physical reality? I ask again, is this what God wants? Iberiberism? I’m judging now, yes, and could be nailed to the cross. I’m willing to be your Jesus 2.0 but will it change a thing?
Once we got one with a frightening tone: You Will Die If You Don’t Share This, but the Iberiberism died when we didn’t share it. You threaten me on my own number, my own phone, my own data and the inference is a concentration of madness. Not from my side, that I’m sure of. Lunatics have found abode in Religion in this country and the social media is a great ally for anything. I can sit in my dark hut and start a crisis on social media and people will lose their minds in the real world. Any madman can be that anonymous whom God told to warn the people to stop eating Suya at night. Truth is, if it was Suya, we will ask, why will God even say that? You get the point? Any fool can sit in his house and get an unknown photo, even a photo from a movie scene, and inflict the actors with cancer and ask for prayers while some ask for protection.
A man comes online to pray to his God in heaven and you wonder if this God have a social media handle. They increase the number of likes to gargantuan numbers and the atheist, mischievously waits, for the most high to do his thing. There is usually one party with a high to their name and it’s not the most high in the book. But…what if God have a Social Media account, what will his posts be like? Will he threaten people to share his posts or get an automatic ticket to hell fire or he will quietly mark those who don’t like his posts and put their names in his book of death? Will he post in support or against the killings going on in Nigeria or he wouldn’t concern himself with it?
What language will he choose? Will his posts be heard like the tongues on that morning the comforter came? Facebook has that feature now. Will he post pictures of the crusade that happened in heaven last night like our brothers and sisters now do online? E.g ‘Chilling with Moses and Peter at the gate of the 6th heaven last night’, ‘Dinner with my son, Jesus, Mary and his earthly dad, Joseph’, ‘Me on the throne sending terabytes of blessings’. Will he post a photo of a child that needs medicine and ask everyone to Type Amen To Heal This Child? You all are not wholly lost though, just like Rochas inspired this post, even a bad person can still be used as a bad example.
So, if God has no social media account and not on your friend’s list who are you praying to with those posts? Is there something you know that we don’t? Is there a secret passage in the book that justifies this Iberiberism? Because the book says God is everywhere you are trying to take stupidity everywhere too? Maybe it’s too early to say, as frustrations can create a lot of chaos in the man. You are not alone. I have seen a man search for his car in a trash can too. I won’t be shocked if you prayed in the toilets and your smelly creation created a barrier for prayers like the Prince of Persia to Daniel, but you didn’t mind. Creativity begins as an expression of madness, you seem to think.
Say to yourself: I will not share the photo of the dying child to type Amen but give from my pocket to save that dying child. I will not pray to God online when I know he has no Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram or any other social media accounts. I will not send any message to ten people to get blessings my sinful nature abominates. I will not be intimidated by threats laced with the words of God. I will not pray online over things the book made me Lord. I don’t pray for wisdom to chew food. And most importantly I will stop doing everything online that promotes Iberiberism.