Dear Struggling Young Men, Avoid These Bad Habits

1. Don’t Go Broke Trying To Look Rich: Some of us just want to show off to friends and prove a point to the opposite sex. To delude the people we are worth a million dollars, we place our lives in perpetual poverty. We make it hard for us to have a better tomorrow by faking our today. And we are struggling! What’s the point of wearing an attire of the super rich when you are starving of hunger? What is the point of using an iPhone, for show off, when that bank account is empty? Priorities and opportunity costs should be your watchword. How will buying that phone help your struggle? How will that new shoe help you achieve your dreams? How will stocking your wardrobe with a thousand clothes, when you can invest in better deals, help you? Cut down on the watches, the irrelevant shoe collection, the wardrobe for convincing that next catch who will not help your hussle in any way. Someone may be willing to change your condition but the impression given by your lifestyle is very troubling and catastrophic and has blocked that favour or connection. They assume you don’t need help when you are dying inside. Use your head!

2. Stop Spending Money On Brothels: Your salary is 40K but you spend about 15k on brothels and call girls every month. You are left with 25k which you channel to other counterproductive areas like shoes, make up and pimping your room. You say you want a bright future but you spend about half of your earnings seeing women of easy virtues. A man doesn’t get rich by wasting money on harlots and brothels. Your life won’t take a positive leap until you plan it. Their are so many jobless young men around looking for what you have but there you are with nothing to show. Not a dime in the account. Not an improvement in your educational level. Not an improvement in your mind or means to plan any tomorrow. A call girl is in the same cycle as you. In trying to find joy and happiness you both donate more seeds of pain and grief. In trying to satisfy the flesh and body, the spirit and mind is unsatisfied. In trying to find peace, to ‘hold body’, you both trade and after the sales not even the one who got both financial and physical gains gains.

READ:Dear Nigerians, Unemployment Is Not Responsible For Cultism

3. Have A Plan: Having a sound plan is the most important aspect of getting out of that dungeon. Without it, even if your pay for a month’s job is at one million naira, you’d still squander it and have a less meaningful life. You can write your goals and dreams down. You can write down your plans and work on them as life, hard work and nature grants you access to the means to actualise them. Been poor and dumb is double tragedy. You can’t be poor and stupid at the same time if you want to get out of that hole. You can’t be poor in finance and poor in sense. No struggling young man with the two ever left that struggling zone. If you are not smart you should keep a smart cycle. What sort of friends do you keep? Do they only care about gulping that carton of beer today at the detriment of their tomorrow? Do they have plans for tomorrow? Having plan is not even enough. How did they respond to their plans when they had the means to execute them? Did they squander it and HOPE that such opportunity is going to present itself again? Was their a sign of remorse when they saw their folly? Did they even see their folly? If the picture is not in your mind, simply write it down.

4. You Can Start Small: Yes, you can start small. You can’t be waiting for that Shell interview or manna to fall down from heaven while you kill time doing nothing. That 30k job is not bad if you can survive on it. That 20k job is not bad if it keeps you busy, productive and learning. If the experience is big, don’t look at the little pay. If your body and soul, which you are trying to keep intact, is not shattered by the job, do it. Drop that pride that hasn’t helped anyone. If you look at it critically, their is really no poor works but works with poor packaging. You can even package ‘shit business’ and you become Gold. The man who owned the construction company could have decided to remain a mason. It is in your mind. Words like ‘I can’t be a cleaner’, simply because ‘cleaning is not a high level job’ is myopic. It is not a good reason. It is not like cleaning is going to kill you or turn you to a strange low animal. See how that rich dry cleaner packaged cleaning. It is in your mind. It is good to start early. To fail early. You are already naked and down. You’d be putting on some clothes when you start now. Even a rag covers something.

READ:The Nigerian Youth We Should Make President

5. Stop Keeping Multiple Girlfriends: Some have gone as far as saying broke and struggling guys have no right to an erection. That is a hard jab at the jaw of struggling and broke guys. Often used by some new generation Nigerian women to mock young guys who try to get close. I am not going to go down that lane. The truth is, a guy who is really serious about getting himself out of the poverty line shouldn’t be playing with women. Keeping different contacts. Different stories. And a continuous manufacturing of lies shouldn’t be his forte. You don’t need such distractions if you want to survive. Of course, contrary to claims made by some of our ladies today, you can have one but she must be a friend in every sense of the word. Like all real friends, she ought to support you, comfort you, help you and vice versa. You don’t need the sort of friend, girlfriend in this case, who only remembers you when she needs money or want her needs satisfied. You don’t need any selfish friend in your life. You need an empathic friend. A true friend not a bedmate. Know the difference. Multiple girlfriends won’t help your ministry. From multiple calls to many lies to a shady life that adds nothing to your mental wellbeing.

6. Cut Down On Parties: What exactly are you looking for? To get high on weed, drugs or some drink? Is that your priority? If No, what then are you doing every evening, the means to your dreams emptied in a cup, you drink and gyrate to the high life. You can have fun but don’t be silly about it. You can drink your favorite drink even in your living rooms. The temptations you encounter in those parties is not healthy for a struggling guy like you. Remember you are trying to break out of that poverty chain but here you are trying to add more chain. You are trying to strangle thoughts of brokenness with delusions of merriment. Their is merriment but in your case, their is an elephant in the room that will always dwarf the lifespan of that merriment. You don’t need all those shows. You don’t have to go see the musicians perform anytime they are around. You don’t need such milking of your flabby dairy. You can go to self development programs and many of them are free. What sort of contacts do you wish to get from the parties? Yes, you could meet a life changer but what are the possibilities of meeting one? Rather than spend your little cash dressing to go a place your development abhors why not go with zero cash where you are better imparted? You don’t want to get old with this foolishness.

READ:Urbanization Of Matter Vs Urbanization Of The Mind

7. Networking Matters: Communication is very important at this stage of development. Getting to know people and associations is not a bad thing. You shouldn’t sit in one place and lament about your sorry state or try garner sympathy by telling how the world has ganged up against you. If the environment is not conducive or doesn’t seem to be interested in liberating you from the shackles of poverty, change environment. It is very hard to leave an environment you’ve known for a very long time. It is very hard to move to an unfamiliar place where you know no one. But if you really desire a change it is time to leave your comfort zone. Their is no point in staying in a place that has not changed your situation if their are higher chances in another place. It is time to break free of that bond holding you down. ‘No, it will be hard to leave here’. ‘I’ve stayed with my family since I was born’. ‘I will miss my friends and this area’. That’s the poverty mentality working hard to appease a citizen. If you move, network and get better both financially and otherwise, how will these things be a problem? Make new friends. I agree that the best way of getting people to like you is by encouraging them to talk to you. Smile and associate with guys around. Drop that pride thing and tell them the whole truth.

Did I miss anything? Leave it in the comment section.

About Poet 171 Articles
I am Rey Alaetuo, a conscious Poet and health care professional living in Owerri, Nigeria. I am an exponent of humanism and a vigilant Poet. I am deeply interested in the propagation of positive human values and behaviour.


  1. Mortal Poet , my name is Brown and I must give it to you. I love the way you articulate your thoughts and dish them out while still hot. Won’t mind getting to know you if it is OK by you. Looking forward to youe reply here

    • Thank you and welcome, Brown. We can begin here and gradually grow it to the streets. Or you can contact me with the number on my contact page. What do you think?

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